Brilliant Light

At church on Sunday we were having a discussion in class about bettering one’s self.  I always enjoy going to church and participating in the gospel, and I always feel uplifted.  I have often talked about this topic in church or in other social settings with friends, though this time it was explained in a way that turned on a light in my heart and mind. 

I am going to break down the quote board I created above as to what it means to me.  

click on image to see larger view

“We all have darkness within us.”

 “Time and time again we try to fix these dark places by pondering ways to rid ourselves of our weaknesses or shortcoming.”

We all have trials and tribulations in our lives and sometimes it leave shadows, some are great and some are small.  Coming from a dynamic background I have always looked for ways to purge myself of certain qualities/ habits that I learned at an early age.  It takes time, and deep thinking to overcome such things.  I started thinking about this at a young age and began to work hard.  The only way I could figure out how to fix the darkness was to dissect it over and over again until I could make sense of it.  

What is the darkness? Where did the darkness come from? When did the darkness enter? Do I want the darkness?  Do I want to get rid of the darkness?  How is the darkness impacting my life and others around me? Do other people struggle with this same darkness? Why have I nurtured the darkness? Does the darkness make me a bad person?  How do I get rid of the darkness?  Why do I even have darkness at all?  I DON’T WANT this DARKNESS!  HOW DO I get RID of the DARKNESS!?

On Sunday I realized my old way of fixing a problem isn’t so bad (I mastered the desire), and truly it was the only way I knew how to purge darkness from my life.  It worked for me for a long time, and I have progressed in purging certain traits and qualities.  I do now however believe there is a healthier way.  A way that I won’t have to dwell on my negative qualities (only adding to the darkness), in a way that I can continue to grow, progress and purge without breaking down myself worth or overshadowing my other divine qualities.

“I have now realized that it’s impossible to draw out the darkness.”

Let’s talk about darkness and how we can manipulate it. Think of a dark space of your own choosing, such as a cave, underground tunnel or a room with no windows.  We as humans would not do well in these dark places for long or even small periods of time unless of course we are in a slumber.  We also know that there are natural laws.  I cannot reach out with my hand and grab the darkness to remove or extract it from a certain space such as a dark room, tunnel or cave.  It is impossible.  

In trying to fix qualities, traits, and habits in the past I would dissect them over and over in my mind. I was trying to fix them with the lights out.  We all know how hard it would be to cook or clean with the lights out.  It is possible, yet not as efficient.  It would take much more time and it could also create other messes along the way.  For me in the past I was progressing and purging slowly, but even still I was progressing.  What I didn’t see is that along the way I was creating other messes by dragging down myself worth, which can actually be more harmful than helpful, because I was replacing one piece of darkness with another.  I was learning to resent myself because of this darkness that exists within.  Now I realize that dark places must exist so that we can experience it’s opposite… brilliant light.  

“We must instead find the opposite of the dark within to bring in light.”

Correct.  We can’t extract the darkness, but we can alter the darkness by bringing in its opposite, which of course we know is light.  To bring in light, we need certain tools.  It can be a flashlight, or it can be a light switch that creates light by electricity.  These tools are helpful on many levels.  We all know the difference of cleaning or cooking with the lights on vs. in darkness.  In the light we are much more efficient in time and energy.  With light we are able to focus clearly on the task at hand.  The extra energy that would have been used in the darkness can now be used to nurture the task and with less stress.  

In my old way of purging, (searching and reaching to extract the darkness) I was breaking down myself worth.  I was inch by inch bringing in light, but my focus was to extract it, not on bringing in light in large beams.  I began to find other faults in my abilities to change or better myself.  I was moving forward, but not efficiently and I was creating other messes along the way. 

Now we know that when we are in a dark room at night, we need a tool.  We turn on a light switch to bring in light so we can see.  The light pushes away the darkness.  We know that when making our way through a cave we must have a tool.  We turn on a lantern, to once again, push away the darkness.

So how can we gain tools to push away the darkness within?  Do we focus on the darkness?  No.  Focusing on the darkness is not the answer.  No matter how hard we try, we cannot extract it.  We MUST find it’s apposing light and nurture it.  What is the darkness that is within us?  Is it bad language, lack of word of wisdom, laziness, being critical of who we are or in our progression or finding fault in others?  What is their opposite?  Defining these opposites to the darkness’s within us is a very personal observation and experience and will vary for each person.  Though when searching this out, we must look to the light that opposes the darkness.  

“Only through light can our darkest corners be replaced with brilliant light.”

What is brilliant light to you?  To me, brilliant light is equal to divine qualities.  To me the most brilliant light comes from and only through my loving brother and savior, even Jesus Christ.  I believe whole heartedly that he has the tools that we need to rid ourselves of the darkness inside.  Satan is patient in his works and he wants us to focus on the darkness, he doesn’t want us to succeed or progress.  We cannot extract darkness from within.  We can however shine the light of Christ into our dark places until they become a brilliant light.  Our Heavenly Father loves each of us as individuals, he wants us to find much joy and he has given us the tools we need to replace the darkness within with joy and light.  He has given us the gospel of Jesus Christ.  He has given the atonement of Jesus Christ.  Within the gospel, we have all the tools we need to rid ourselves of the darkness from within.  Will we perfect it in this life?  No, but by focusing on the light instead of the dark we can feel his love and encouragement.  We must be patient with ourselves.   I am grateful for this knowledge.  I am grateful for our dear friend, Kevin Nielsen, for explaining this topic in a way that gave me another tool (light) to move forward in my journey of bettering myself.  I am excited, to move forward, to put this knowledge to practice, to purge myself of unwanted qualities or traits with light instead of focusing on the darkness!  Light and knowledge has been switched on in my heart and mind.    To some this knowledge might seem simple, though for others it is a blessing… a tool to succeed.  I hope this touches others in a way that it has touched me.